It is the first day of a new financial quarter, and I am excited to announce some big changes for dev.to. Today we follow in the footsteps of great financial innovators such as Elizabeth Holmes and Kenneth Lay. In a bold (some might say heroic) move, we will be deprecating the web-facing dev.to client in favor of a blockchain client. As we all know, the blockchain (which invented the concept of trust) is becoming a critical component of all earthly ideas, from credit card processing to phrenology. We are simply getting ahead of the curve.
Instead of simply typing in the dev.to URL, our users will now have the privilege of jumping through a multi-step process of connecting to your own RPC server and control your connection to dev.to. But don't worry, browsing will take minutes, instead of only a few milliseconds like you're used to. We expect a major bump in average session duration due to these innovations.
By now you might be asking "Ben, isn't this all incredibly inefficient?" and to answer that question, I present you our very lengthy white paper, which will address any asinine doubts you might have about our heist offering.
Without further ado, introducing the first DEV currency: UniCoin. It's called UniCoin to pay tribute to the "unicorn" term in private finance. Also known as the pinnacle of human achievement. For some reason, we've felt it crucial to intertwine currency with basic data storage and networking. But it's the wave of the future, right? Right?
Unicoin makes use of the revolutionary "proof of blind faith" algorithm. It builds on proof of trust and proof of stake but relies on a concept as old as humanity itself. I urge you to join us in our mission to make the world a better place through blockchain technology.
If this is all too complicated, but you still want to give us your money, feel free to use PayPal. This is another perfectly valid way to exchange your money for absolutely nothing in return.
The DEV Community, making the world a better place.
Top comments (68)
This is the greatest news I've read all day! I'm configuring my connection right now!
so power. much innovate. many chain. such block. wow.
hey Jake,
How you gonna do that, could you point me to a blog post that will help to configure it, I am new to decentralized application domain(blockchains)
I just put my Yelp API token in my package.json file and executed
nowand VOILA!!I forgot to mention. All posts not on the subject of blockchain will henceforth be banned. It's time to step into the future sheeple.
Oh, so essentially you're becoming Hacker Noon π€£
We prefer to term it "ascending into greatness"
π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦
π¦π¦ We'll be announcing details for our UniCoin ICO very soon π¦π¦
π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦
TAKE MY MONEY
More like MAKE MY MONEY, amirite?
Although itβs a great April fools joke, it presents a seriously good idea:
For privacy concerned folks like me who enjoy the power to control ones data and connections, the concept of a decentralized option for dev.to intrigues me.
On a serious note, me too and we're gradually trying to build with that in mind.
What would be nice is for those who wish to decentralize, dev.to becomes a peer tracker, and everyone connects via peers. Accounts are identified by a UUID, and a GPG private key on your device to sign the message, and you can post direct to dev.to API or via other peers to give a layer of abstraction.
You should take a look at the dat project.
Totally agree. We can all support Beaker!π
My sense of humour is slightly underdeveloped, so could someone verify that this is an April's Fool joke?
Verified
I just liquidated 70% of my 401K to get in on this, but Paypal won't let me send that much. Who do I talk to about an alternative means of payment? I don't want to miss out. This is the biggest deal since Dodd-Frank!
"But don't worry, browsing will take minutes, instead of only a few milliseconds like you're used to. We expect a major bump in average session duration due to these innovations."
Laughed out loud at this one xD
Its not an analytics bounce if session times improve, you guys care for our security and seo in the same step. Much love!
Great April Fools post. It does, however, raise two issues surrounding security. These issues are usability and actual security. For the average user, if securing something means making it not as usable they simply won't secure it. Security without user ease is wasted time, effort, and money.
I LOVE the new logo shown in the hero image! Please tell me you are making βdad-styleβ hats with that logo. I want to represent UniCoin and look like Ron Howard at the same time. Please take all my π°!!
APRIL FOOL. JUST CHECK THE LINK TO GREAT FINANCIAL INNOVATORS. SAVAGE FROM DEV.TO
Lol! I admit I don't know much about blockchain technology, but I believed it until the minutes which used to take milliseconds! :D
Edit: I just remembered who Kenneth Lay is.... Brilliant! The foreboding tone in the email linking to the post was a great set up too. Well done Ben.
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